Do you ever say, ‘I will be happy when…?’

‘My fellow believers, when it seems as though you are facing nothing but difficulties see it as an invaluable opportunity to experience the greatest joy that you can! For you know that when your faith is tested it stirs up power within you to endure all things. And then as your endurance grows even stronger it will release perfection into every part of your being until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.’ James 1:2-4

I don’t think I am alone in my tendency to think – when I have more staff I will be happy, or when I reach my goal of twenty students then I will be happy, or when we raise enough money to pay off the loan or a hundred and one other things that have to happen before I can be happy. There’s always seems to be something that stands in the way of our happiness.

Shawn Achor, author of the happiness advantage, was shocked when he began his research at Harvard: the students at one of the most prestigious universities in the world were largely unhappy. Sure, they were ecstatic initially, “I’m going to Harvard!” But, within just weeks, they were complaining about their stress, worrying about their workloads and competing with other students. 





There’s a scarily common faulty premise at the bottom of all this unhappiness. Most people believe that once X happens, then I’ll be happy. 

But the research shows the opposite. The research shows that when we’re happy, then success follows.

There are so many scriptures that encourage us to be happy or rejoice or count it all joy. For instance: The idea of rejoicing occurs more than 16 times in the short book of Philippians. Philippians is often known as the “Epistle of Joy” because of Paul’s attitude in prison. Rejoicing in every circumstance and finding joy amidst trials is a major theme. The psalms are full of praising and thanking God for who he is and what he has done.

But somehow, we get pulled down into negative thinking, anxiety, complaining and hoping that happiness will drop in our lap once this or that has happened.

So, what can we do to actively pursue happiness. It’s critical in our fast paced, social media, digital age, to slow down for just a few minutes at some point in the day to reflect a little. I find it helpful to actually write things down in my digital journal but if that’s not you, then take time to speak your thoughts out.

I created a template years ago, in my journal that asks me questions that the author Achor also suggests. He lists five critical strategies (slightly edited) to begin increasing your happiness levels:

  1. Write down three new things you’re grateful for (or appreciate) for 21 days in a row. I actually write down five things everyday. I find two or three things come pretty quickly and I have to dig a little deeper for the next couple of items. As Paul found writing from prison, there is always something we can be thankful for.

  2. Journal about one positive experience you’ve had over the past 24 hours, allowing your brain to relive it. Psalm 77:12 ‘I ponder all you’ve done, Lord, musing on all your miracles.’ Days go by so fast, and we move on from one event to the next without stopping to appreciate what has taken place. At the end of the year, my wife and I look back to remember the many varied experiences we have had. Without daily, monthly, yearly debriefs we so easily forget the blessings we have enjoyed and the grace we have received to walk through life’s challenges.

  3. Exercise for 2% of a day – that’s just 30 minutes. We all can prioritize a few minutes every day to take a walk or to do a short workout, but many don’t. The research is clear that just a 30 minute walk a day makes a huge difference to your health. Get those endorphins working for you and giving you a lift as well as helping you stay fit and healthy.

  4. Meditate for at least 10 minutes per day. There are many benefits from meditation. Rite and I use ‘Lectio 365’ an online daily devotional from Pete Grieg and 24/7 Prayer ministry. You can read it or listen to it and then we usually spend time praying into what we have been thinking about. This activity helps to centre us into the day, to calm our emotions and set us up for the events of the day to come.
     
  5. Write one positive email (or send one positive text or make that phone call), praising or thanking someone in your support network. I have always been blessed when someone writes to me, not asking me to do something or reporting on some project but simply to say hi and share some encouragement. It doesn’t happen that often so its extra special when it does. Think how you can make someone’s day through some simple words of encouragement, affirmation or honour. What power there is in the tongue to bless others.

Some personalities are naturally more positive and get out of bed with a smile on their face. Others like me, require some warming up, and the above five points can definitely help me gear up for the day. You may remember the song made famous by Monty Python – ‘always look on the bright side of life!’ Scripture says it in this way –  ‘Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!’ Philippians 4:4

The bottom line is – pursue happiness and then you will see success. And as we were looking at last month, success is more about who we are becoming and our relationships than the tasks we perform and being happy helps that kind of success.

Until next month,

Stephe

Time to journal?

For the past decade, doctors and psychologists have been taking notice of the health benefits of reflective writing. They note that wrestling with words to put your deepest thoughts into writing can lift your mind from depression, uncover wisdom within your experiences, provide insight and foster self-awareness. Similarly, a recent news article discussed the benefits of confessional writing, where one is freed to “explore the depths of the emotional junkyard.”

Journaling is process I personally look forward to every morning – I am curious to find out what I am going to say.  I don’t have a clear journal entry to write before my fingers touch the keyboard but I know I am going to unlock some thoughts that are buried in the jungle of words in my mind.  For me, journaling frees me to think.

We live in the communication age with 1.7 billion active monthly users of Facebook, multiple other social networking platforms, the ability to find out anything by googling it or asking siri, the constant daily influx of emails with high expectations of immediate response and on and on it goes.   And yet, are we really benefitting from all this communication and is it causing us to learn and grow more?  Having all this communication at our fingertips and having more ‘friends’ than we could ever spend time with doesn’t necessarily bring wisdom.  Wisdom comes from reflecting on what is taking place in our lives in the presence of the Holy Spirit.  As we journal those reflections, the process can bring understanding and meaning to our lives.   Journaling is a way of paying attention to ourselves and to what God has to say to us.   

There is no right way to journal.  Everyone needs to find their own rhythm.  You don’t have to journal every day or every week but a growing number find it very beneficial to journal regularly.  Let me share some of the benefits that I have found in journaling in recent years. 

1. I discover what I think: Some people find out what they think by talking to themselves, others by sitting quietly, but me – I need to write.  My mind gets full very quickly with a few thoughts that then tend to go around in circles.  So journaling is a way to move me out of being stuck.  In order to free my mind up, I need to write those thoughts down so that more can flow.  Many of the leadership letters that I write, come from excerpts out of my journal. 

But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.  (and then obviously wrote this down)  Psalm 77:11

2. I help myself solve problems or make decisions: When approaching a situation, I tend to write down the facts I know, my positive ideas, the pros and cons, my positive and negative feelings, and soon without doing much thinking at all, the answer has become clearer. 

You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.  Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand—you don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings.  (Understanding comes from dialogue and listening) Psalm 40:6

3. I am able to be honest with the facts and feelings: On some of those troublesome days, it’s helpful to just say it like it is, or perhaps say it how it feels.  Writing can then become an objective tool to help me sift through the over reactions and perceived stories that I can easily believe.  

My enemies shout at me, making loud and wicked threats.  They bring trouble on me and angrily hunt me down.  My heart pounds in my chest.  The terror of death assaults me.  Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking.  Oh, that I had wings like a dove;  then I would fly away and rest!  (David lets it all his feelings out) Psalm 55: 3-6 

4. I record meaningful moments: Many use a journal for recording their every day life and events – and if you do, this is a great way of keeping those memories.  I don’t tend to do that but instead focus on significant conversations, special events or things that have grabbed my attention.  Usually there is something to learn or take note of.  Throughout the Psalms, David shares his victories and high points (as well as his down days and struggles) 

You gave me victory over my accusers.  You appointed me ruler over nations;  people I don’t even know now serve me.  Psalm 18:43

5. I am able to express my gratitude: A while back, I was asking the Lord how I could develop more positivity in my life.  Through my daily devotions, I started reading many verses on thanksgiving.  So I decided to start the day by writing down 10 things I can be thankful for.  Each day I press in to discover new aspects to be grateful for.  I find the first 6 or 7 come easily and then I have to dig a little deeper for the last 3 or 4.  It’s been a good habit for me to develop. 

It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High. For you make me glad by your deeds, Lord;  I sing for joy at what your hands have done.  How great are your works, Lord, how profound your thoughts!  Psalm 92: 1, 4-5 

6. I discover YWT (Your word today): I know God always has things to say, so I take the opportunity of asking him what he would like to say to me today and then wait with my fingers ready on the keyboard to type what I hear.  At first it took me a little while to get into the zone but the more you practice, the more fluent you become.  It’s like writing your own prophetic word every day.

God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to you; unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.  Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.  Psalm 62:11

7. I release my spirit and soul to meditate: I usually spend some time in a book of the bible and read a chapter a day.  As I focus on a particular phrase that pops out of the chapter, I start writing down reflections on the words or phrase.  Sometimes it turns into a prayer response, an action that I need to take, or an application of some sort in my life.  These meditations become not only a blessing to my own life and relationship with the Lord but also a resource for sharing with others.

Help me understand the meaning of your commandments, and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.  Psalm 119:27

8. I gain perspective as I muse over my jottings: In re-reading my journal from time to time, I discover recurring themes, patterns of experience, regular issues arising and begin to identify a clearer perspective of what is happening in my life and how I need to change.

Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.  Habakkuk 2:2 

9. It provides an emotional outlet: Like many men, I tend to think more than I feel and don’t tend to talk so much about my emotions.  However, writing allows me to begin to label those emotions and discover more clearly how I am feeling and what I need to do with those feelings.  The writers of the Psalms express all kinds of emotions including loneliness, joy, even frustration with God. This following Psalm reads like a journal:

‘To you, Lord, I called;  To the Lord I cried for mercy:  “What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit?  Will the dust praise you?  Will it proclaim your faithfulness?  Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help.”  You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.  Lord my God, I will praise you forever.’ Psalm 30:8-12

The psalmists through their journaling walk away from their words with a clearer sense of reality. And their words have been a source of encouragement to countless lives.

10. It reduces stress:  Journaling can help you reduce mental clutter and stress.  We can often feel overwhelmed with so much to do, and so many lose ends to tie up.  However, when we actually write down those things in black and white, we can see clearly what is needed and rather than have this vague mountain of work, it becomes a straight forward doable list.

O God, listen to my cry!  Hear my prayer!  From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed.  Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.  Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings!  Psalm 61:1-4

So journaling seems to fall into a number of categories depending on your style and desire:

  1. Writing your story
    • Events in your life and family
    • Documenting your memories
    • Picture journal
  2. What’s happening right now
    • Unedited thoughts, reactions and feelings
    • Making sense of what is happening
  3. Evaluation & debriefing
    • Things I am processing and need to make decisions on
    • Lessons being learned
    • Growth in spirit, soul and body
    • Daily, weekly or less regular ‘Examen’ (Ignatius exercise in debriefing)
  4. Dreams & desires
    • Calling and vocation
    • Identity and who you are becoming
    • Ideas about the future
  5. Thoughts & ideas about specific things
    • Brainstorming ideas
    • Identifying what to plan
    • Preparation for speaking
    • Quotes
  6. Meditations
    • Personal response to something you see
    • Response to something you read
  7. Prayer journal
    • Record requests, prayers and answered prayer.
    • Conversational prayer response

If you are only using one or two of the categories above in your journaling, how about trying some different areas and see how they can encourage you in new ways. Allow the creativity of your life to unfold as you write.  Each blank page is calling you to fill it with your thoughts, reflections, evaluations, meditations, conclusions, repentance, honest appraisals, prayers and musings.  Again, as Philippians encourages us, ‘whatever you have received, heard or seen (through your journaling), put into practice and you will experience God’s peace and progress in your life.’

My wife prefers to have a paper journal where she can write her thoughts, paste in pictures and memories and have a hands on approach.  She finds journaling helpful to sift through and get to the bottom of internal attitudes or behaviours as well as external relationships and circumstances that are squeezing in.  These can feel overwhelming.  Often as she writes the Lord gives her a symbol or metaphor that brings some hope and something to hold on to.  So as she puts words on paper, to the feelings and facts of life, somehow they can more easily be brought as a sacrifice to the Lord and trust the Lord to bring resolution and help.

I also have a whole shelf of journals from years gone by but have used a digital journal now for many years and enjoyed it so much.  I use DAY ONE and got in early enough that it was free but there are many to choose from out there. 

May I encourage you into this very worthwhile spiritual discipline of journaling.  You won’t regret it.

Until next month

Stephe